When I was a teenager, I wanted to live to be a hundred. I wanted to know what 2072 looked like. I wanted to see what kind of advancements would be made by us as a society. When I was a kid, the old folks would say they lived through a time when we went from horse and buggies to walking on the moon, so I was excited about what I would get to see in my own lifetime. Lately I feel like I’ve seen enough.
My next sentence is no reflection on the current President because, quite frankly, I would feel the same no matter what party was in power. The fact that I keep hearing the phrase “The President tweeted this morning…” honestly makes me want to hang it up.
My religious views have been all over the map; ranging from self-righteous, judgmental asshole to analytical, atheist asshole. In the way some people have “addictive” personalities—trading one addiction for another, I have a “spiritual” personality. Even when my brain tells me there’s no way believing in a god makes any sense, the poetic side of me just can’t get past it. Lately I float between agnostic and atheist depending on how nice of a day it is.
So sometimes I ponder: If there really is no God, what’s the point of all this? I have a tendency to diagnose myself with a lot of things, but depression isn’t one of them. I don’t want to cash in my chips because I feel like things are insurmountable. They’re just annoying!
And don’t you know this morning I’m minding my own business and out of nowhere Pandora has the audacity to play “Seasons in the Sun” and now I don’t want to die of anything ever.
Bastards!
Streams of Unconsciousness 